When is enough enough in a marriage of nearly 9 years?

You have every right to be at your last straw. Your husband sounds like he didn't get the memo that he was married with kids. I would give him an ultimatum. He lets you handle all the money/accounts, you pay the bills and he gets a weekly allowance. Granted more responsibility is the last thing you need, but it may be your only choice before you are all broke again. Hopefully, he'll grow to be more responsible and learn to budget wisely. Bottom Line: If your husband refuses to act like an adult and handle the money wisely, or at least be smart enough to let you take over, then think of your children first. good luck!